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November 2, 2011
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in cold wet streets
pasted with leaves,
the sun retreats;
perseph'ne grieves.

silver rain
falling leaves
sidewalk paved in gold


pasted with leaves
from borean gales,
perseph'ne grieves;
the night prevails.

cold night coming
cats tails
curl around their feet


from borean gales
the sun retreats;
the night prevails
in cold, wet streets.
1.11.11

a shokuga collaboration written with *RedDragonfly for :iconbluemoonbird:s shokuga spin-the-bottle event.

the regular text is mine, the italics hers.

this piece can be found in her gallery here: [link]

the title roughly translates 'the paved way to autumn'
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:iconhalcyonshores:
halcyonshores Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Mythology has fascinated me since childhood and I enjoyed every single part
of this beautiful collaboration. Very well done. :nod::rose:
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:icondeinktvis:
deinktvis Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2011  Student Writer
thanks :) i think ~RedDragonflys haiku gems fit nicely in my pantoum setting :)
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:iconbottle-in-the-sea:
bottle-in-the-sea Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
beautiful image! i especially loved "the sun retreats" :)
and of course the reference to the myth related to my name (or at least my "daughter's") : )
it is suitable too i think for Persephone to grieve, since she didn't want to be in the underworld with Hades. But mainly it is because of Demetra's (or Demeter's) grief for the loss of her daughter that seasons halted, because she was the godess that controlled seasons and fertility.
just a small feedback in the story, it doesn't mean you should rearrange anything cause like i said Persephone grieves too and it actually adds an additional image to it and makes the seasonal reference even more implicit :)
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:icondeinktvis:
deinktvis Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2011  Student Writer
i meant persephone's grief as a symbol of her seclusion...as a symptom, not the cause:) i understand the seasonal shift is demetra's doing, not her daughter's, but i feel that persephone (and her emotions) is/are a more quickly understood symbol of that shift. :)
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:iconbottle-in-the-sea:
bottle-in-the-sea Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
exactly :) that's why i said that the image of persephone is very suitable. (and more interesting too, putting it that way :))
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:icondeinktvis:
deinktvis Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2011  Student Writer
:highfive:
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:iconmeganbreukelman:
meganbreukelman Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2011  Professional Photographer
such a beautiful autumn vision.
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:icondeinktvis:
deinktvis Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2011  Student Writer
dank je wel!
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:iconsomnomollior:
somnomollior Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2011   Writer
I feel soggy. I think the dampness of this time of year comes across very strongly. The haiku make a pretty and comforting contrast.
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:icondeinktvis:
deinktvis Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2011  Student Writer
yea, it was a soggy, messy street i was looking at through the window.
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