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fold and tuck: a haiga

By
haijinik
Published:
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Description

13.12.11

a haiga collaboration with ~tehKOTAK. the original image can be found here: [link]

the poem is a senryu [link] :

fold and tuck

tongue stuck out;
sound origami
needs focus.
Image size
1000x750px 86.26 KB
Make
OLYMPUS IMAGING CORP.
Model
u810/S810
Shutter Speed
10/1250 second
Aperture
F/2.8
Focal Length
7 mm
ISO Speed
200
Date Taken
Jan 12, 2007, 2:35:23 PM
© 2011 - 2024 haijinik
Comments1
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MadelineBelleVe's avatar
MadelineBelleVe
Instead of a critique i'm just going to write a comment because it won't fit in the required spacing amount. After the first line your senryu just falls apart. The lines don't build up or even make sense(not to be harsh). Maybe you could have done a repetition based poem where you explain the making of an origami piece and repeat fold and tuck in each stanza. 

-M a d e l i n e B. V.