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Literature Text
by now the sun's gone red,
swollen and yet colder;
the earth, still, burnt and dead.
extinction made bolder
our race; reaching the stars
upon quantum shoulders.
but have we reached too far,
we few thousand riding
this life-raft-killing-jar?
space is not abiding;
we lack maps decrying
here be dragons hiding!
our prow ether-plying
as the navigator
flails at planet scrying.
i've grown to fear we have played traitor
to the veiled cause of our creator.
swollen and yet colder;
the earth, still, burnt and dead.
extinction made bolder
our race; reaching the stars
upon quantum shoulders.
but have we reached too far,
we few thousand riding
this life-raft-killing-jar?
space is not abiding;
we lack maps decrying
here be dragons hiding!
our prow ether-plying
as the navigator
flails at planet scrying.
i've grown to fear we have played traitor
to the veiled cause of our creator.
Comments18
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Overall Vision Originality Technique ImpactGood work here. Original for sure, and seems to reflect science or those series like Star Trek. I suspect that you watched a few episodes or a few films, eh?
The start is thrilling, a sun going extinct, Earth lying burnt and dead in the system.
The choice of words all throughout the work was very clever. I noticed that you used a classical rhyme, rather than rhymed coup[lets, and I am delighted with that. You show your skill as a clever and capable poet. I occasionally use that scheme. I am looking forward to another like this one, although the subject can be entirely what you want. Bravo!